Changes

Paperwork Complete!!!! Next in the process is home study where we get a case worker that comes to our home and checks it out to make sure the home is safe for little ones and we are good to go. Already our profile has been sent to an organization called SWAN in Pa that lists all the sibling groups up for adoption in our state then with their help and Common Sense Adoption Agency we will be matched with kids. It could work two ways: 1) we get files of children already legally ready to adopt in Pa that currently live in a foster home and we take them in for 6 months to see if it is a good match or 2) we wait for an emergency situation where siblings need a place asap and get placed into our home to house til they are up for adoption-this is mostly the way we would be able to get a younger child. So as you can tell this is still a long process. We foster to adopt for up to 6 months and then can go to court to legalize the adoption IF their paperwork is signed off and parent rights are terminated. It will be an emotional journey for our family but exciting at the same time.
I currently put my Nest Staging Designing business on hold and started daycare. This helps with our income and also helps prepare Austin for other children in the home. So far so fun!
We never thought we would ever trade in the SUV for a van but yesterday was the big day-Traded the Nissan Exterra for a Quest van. It was bitter sweet as we had so many missionary memories in that suv but now we are ready for the next adventure God has in store.
Recently I had to get some designing ideas out of my head so one day with a can of Egg Yolk Yellow paint I went to town on the old crib. It was nice before the move back to the states but with 7 day moving trip it ended with lots of dents and scratches. The bedroom is now ready for 2 more children at any time.
Please stop and pray right now for our future children that God will keep them safe til they come home to us.

Paperwork

These last 2 months have been very busy. We received our packet of papers to start. As many of you know this is a time consuming process. We started with reading two books. One "Parenting the Hurting Child." It was full of great information to learn about attachment disorders. One thing at the beginning we learned fast was that love is not always enough. Adoption through foster care; these children are placed in foster care because they have gone through something bad enough the state felt they needed removed from home/family to be safe. 95% of these children have been sexually abused. Kevin and I took 4 classes on how to help, encourage, and raise a child in these situations.
So after these classes and books read, we started on the stack of papers. FBI check, background checked, SS income info., references, list all 29 homes ever lived in, took tests, and more. Finally Thanksgiving week we mailed it out! Yes I did the happy dance many times.

You might be a foster parent if...

1) If you sit up late to watch specials about things like meth labs and pediatric psychology on PBS or the Learning Channel...you might be a foster parent.

2)If your friends and family collect coins or baseball cards or wine and you only want to collect kids...you might be a foster parent.

3)If you hear about a child being abused and it makes you want to jam a two-by-four up the abuser's nose on the one hand but thank them on the other hand for providing you an opportunity to love their child...you might be a foster parent.

4)If your income would allow you to drive a big, new truck or a Corvette if you wanted and you voluntarily make due with a 10 year old beater so you can keep the house fixed up to code and add another bedroom with an egress window in the basement to increase your capacity...you might be a foster parent.


Thought you would get a laugh at some of these. Adoption through foster care is a an awesome opportunity God has given us to grow our family. I am reading a book right now "Adopting the hurt child" and I am learning so much on how to comfort a child that has gone through so much. I am grateful that God has chosen Kevin and I for this adventure!

Improvement

Today we filed our first necessary paperwork to get the ball rolling with adoption. We've been motivated in a big way! Through all our prayers that we have been crying out to God about, he answered a very specific one that was weighing on us and in some ways preventing us from moving forward. You've got to understand, we are by no means wealthy. We're wealthy in the Spiritual way, but in the physical, we've got more faith than dollars if you know what I mean.
Two weeks ago God answered a huge prayer of ours by one of you donating $1000 towards our adoption. I have to admit when I saw that email from paypal indicating there were funds available, I first thought that it was a scam. I thought that someones email had been hacked and I was receiving one of those click here for your chance to win $1000. I was completely shocked when I found that it was in fact true! Immediately I called Cris and shared the news with her and she was equally shocked.
Let me tell you what this will allow us to do: We will be able to officially file our application to become foster parents. We will be able to complete all of our necessary background checks, you'd be amazed at how much they want to know about us. We will be able to go through most of the classes we need to become certified foster parents. And we'll be able to purchase most of the necessary materials we need for learning as well.
We learned in missions that the best way to raise funds is simply by communication. In order to finalize our adoption, we need roughly 5,000 depending all the details. The best part about this is the fact that God has chosen us to do this and we'll have the chance first hand to see God use us to bless a child that we have yet to even meet. Thanks for your prayers and if you'd like to get involved with us in this simply click the donate button top right.

New Perspective

Our first meeting with Common Sense Adoption Agency in Camp Hill, PA was a bit more intense than I first thought it would be. I have to admit my view of adoption was a bit skewed. I was just like Crystal, intrigued at the friendliness of the staff and their heart for these children. I was pretty shocked at their feeling of responsibility to the children they had helped place in homes even the point of giving up their personal time to assist in doctors appoints or even counseling new parents about the intensities of being adoptive parents. And that's exactly where my skewed view of adoption was changed. I'm not sure why I thought any differently, probably for the same reason we think that being a CSI is so cool and easy- they catch the bad guy after just one hour, he's tried and convicted- TV makes it look so easy and certainly every adoptable child is just the perfect little person with no character flaws and they all have blond hair and blue eyes. No the shocking reality that I learned that evening was that 97% of adoptable children have been sexually abused, that many of them come from homes that are more meth labs than homes and that the reason they are adoptable is because their birth parents have either given up their rights as parents or have lost their rights because of something they did. Because of this there is a lot that we must be prepared for and for this reason we have a lot of classes we need to take both online and in Camp Hill. Right now we are reading Adopting the Hurt Child by Gregory Peck and learning just how extensive the physical and emotional damage that this little person may have endured. It's a sad and sobering reality but honestly, I believe God built us for this.

Jumping in with both feet-Cris

As soon as Kevin and I decided adoption was what God had placed on both our hearts, within hours I was online researching. Let me just say that can be overwhelming at the beginning. I started filling out request forms for information from the state of Pa adoption foster to adopt. I can remember the exciting day we received our first packet of information with a list of 12 agencies near. How do you make a decision? First we went through and checked off each agency that did not have a website. Seriously, if they are not up on technology, my thought was they could be behind on the adoption process as well. Second, I emailed friends that had adopted locally and asked what they had heard and eliminated a few more. Third, I called the ones left. Talked with them and one just stuck out. I was on the phone for an hour and it felt that I was talking with a friend. We talked about the positives as well as the negative sides of adoption. I liked how things were not sugar coated but direct and the biggest hook for us was how the agency really wanted to keep Austin in mind and involved in the process. Common Sense Adoption Agency in Harrisburg was it! Kevin, Austin, and I took an hour road trip and had our first meeting on August 30, 20011. We walked in thinking we were going to walk out overwhelmed but it was not like that at all. We were so encouraged and really felt that God was totally lining things up. It was easier than we thought.

http://www.csas-swan.org/index.html

My thoughts- Kevin

Adoption was not really something I was open to originally. I remember when Cris first started talking to me about having children and I just didn't feel ready yet. We'd only been married for a year and were planning our strategy to begin as missionaries and I just didn't see how that her being pregnant and having a baby would be smart form them to travel on deputation for 18 months with no home. I remember a lot of conversations we had about having children and one of the thoughts she kept bringing up was the thought about one day adopting a child. For me that was way across the line. I couldn't figure out how to handle one of our own and now she wants to talk to me about adopting one that's not? So for years I brushed the comments under the rug and would smile at her and say "one day", then everything changed. The day came when we found we had to consider other options. We seriously thought about in vitro but the cost/risk was way to high for us to even begin to wrap our minds around. Then ironically we watched a movie that we had seen so many times before and afterward we were getting ready for bed and she said to me we should think about adoption, which I had been keeping my mouth shut about but was thinking the exact same thing. Something inside of us simply changed that night and God opened our eyes to the reality that there was a child somewhere out there that was destined to live in our home. We've got so much work to do before hand. There's a pile of paperwork that we need to navigate through. We have books to read, classes to take and money to raise, but someday soon, we'll bring home a little ________. Can't wait to post a picture

May 12, 2011-Crystal

I knew something was wrong. After a very invasive surgery in Cali. to repair and clear endometriosis my specialist said "good luck, you should be expecting in months." That was 2 years ago this November. It is hard when you are faced with infertility and seeking God's direction and no answers. The feeling of guilt of not being content has been something God was working on me about. I thank God each day for Austin but inside wanted more children. 2 years ago I began to pray that if it was not meant to be that God would just take the desire away. "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires." Psalm 37:4
However the more I prayed the more I clung to the fact that God does want to give us our desires and bless. He started showing me that things can't be my timing but His. Also I felt that I just needed answers as what was the problem. I had tried every home test, natural meds, drank weird things, and more.
On May 12 it was time. Kevin and I drove down to Fredrick, Md for testing. I had that awful feeling I knew what was the result. Kevin was so encouraging that if we found that we could not get pregnant, God had a cooler way of building our family. As I laid there having dye put through me I could see the screen showing it not going anywhere. As the doctor looked at me with sad eyes I knew-my tubes were no good. I really believe that God spoke to me then confirming he had great plans! The shock on the nurses faces as I got up and comforted them that it was ok, "God has a cooler way of building my family" I will never forget. I got to talk about how God changes lives, how He is the writer of my story, and how God has a plan.
I would like to say I had all the faith I needed. I walked out to Kevin and described what had happened and then we both got silent. Drove to Starbucks and then burst into tears asking God what next. I felt like maybe I had done something wrong that God would not let me carry another baby. I had lots of questions with no answers. God never said he would tell us the plan but that He would walk through it with us, one step at a time. So now we are getting ready to take the next step with Him guiding us as we go. Through this I have held on that God just might have hand picked me and said "yes, she will mother this child that needs a family." How awesome to think that possibly God has bigger plans for me as a mother! I am excited to meet the child or children that God has for our family!

First thoughts- By Kevin

So if you're going to understand why we are heading toward adoption you need to know where we've come. To those of you who know us well, you know how much we love Austin. He's amazing, in fact I tell him that and make him tell me that he's amazing too. It's pretty cute hearing him as he's sitting in his car seat say, "Dad, I'm amazing". I want him to know that because I believe that God did make him amazing and he needs to have that confidence.

Our memories of Austin's arrival is so vivid. Even though that was over 4 years ago, we can still remember all the details of when he was born and when we found out. I remember one specific day, we were missionaries traveling to raise our funding and were back in Kansas for a few weeks between meetings. I was spending my days doing some construction work with a friend and I got the phone call. She was so excited to tell me that she thought she might be pregnant. I, typical guy, was excited, but also freaked out. Days later we found out that yet again, it was false and these negative tests would come again and again and again. Thankfully God had greater plans. Four years we prayed for Austin to come, now four years after he arrived we are back to the place we started at. Knowing that God wants us to have more children but having no way to get there is so frustrating and discouraging, but I always tell Crystal, If God wants us to have more kids, he just has a cooler way of getting them to us. I believe that with all my heart. Somewhere out there is a little boy or girl that was born to be in our family and I can't wait to meet them.

Story of first miracle-told by Crystal

Austin Tyler Elworth: born June 30, 2007.
Kevin and I began to pray for a child a year after we married. Like most couples we had a plan. Stop the pill and a few months later=pregnant. 4 years later still praying. We were heart broken. I read the story of Hannah so many times begging God to bless us. Kevin and I had a little pair of white baby shoes we would look at and pray that God would fill those tiny little shoes. In August of 2006 I began to have pain in my abdomen and in Oct. I went in to have my first of many surgeries. Verdict-Endometriosis and ovarian cysts. That Dec. while traveling on the road for missions I began to get car sick and extremely tired. I didn't even let myself think I could be pregnant, we should have bought stock in pregnancy tests as often as I took them. We arrived back in Wichita, KS at Kevin's family home. As soon as we arrived I scheduled another ultrasound to confirm a large cyst. I can remember that very cold Dec. morning as Kevin and I went into the obgyn office preparing for news of possible surgery. Dr. did an exam and then sent me to do an ultrasound. As I laid there I couldn't help but hope that a little peanut would show. To our surprise the dr. looked at us and said "there is your baby." Kevin and I looked at each other in shock and asked for a blood test to confirm. We returned to the house trying not to get excited but couldn't help it. 2 hours later it was confirmed-We were expecting!
Now 4 years later we have a sweet, energetic, and loving Austin Tyler!